Interception
A few months before
The icy winds of the Siberian tundra had not discouraged the mission D13 Alien
Force Research Silver Eagle 3584X+, as had been called by Charles Xavier, with
obvious excess of verbosity. He was not new to such names: for example he had
named his cat Luis Nazario De Lima Ronaldo Junior, but after discovering that
it was a female he had strangely renamed it only Lulu. His stage name was also
quite long: Professor Doctor Plumber Black Shark Fifa 2002 Bambi. The
disappointment at the discovery that it had already been recorded by someone
else led him to fall back on a banal Professor X. When he did not choose names,
however, Charlers Xavier was also much more. He was, in order of grammatical
utility for the next sentence, a genius of biology, a mutant capable of
telepathy, and the founder of the X-Men. The latter were a group of mutant
superheroes who made it of all colors. Three of them were away in Russia at
that time: Rogue, the most perky and apparently enthusiastic about the feat;
Jean Grey, the "oldest" and the wisest (when she didn’t go crazy);
and Jubilee, the youngest of the group, who spent every single minute of the
mission cursing the moment she decided to join.
"In your particular case, because you insisted on coming, ignoring our prayers to keep you home. More generally, because Baxton detected possible traces of alien activity that could be compatible with Paralell-X," Rogue replied.
"And who the hell is Baxton?"
"The new intern, that skinny guy with glasses; you probably happened to see him. Xavier loves him, he says he’s a genius," Jean said.
They walked for hours until Jubilee, which was a few dozen yards ahead, started screaming and shaking. "Hey, come on, quick!" She had found something big.
A giant dinosaur skeleton was lying under a thin layer of ice. "Yay, that’s what we were looking for" Rogue said sarcastically.
It took a while to complete the practice, between inspections of palaeontologists and various experts. Eventually, Jubilee was able to snatch a promise from the director of the Moscow Natural Museum to call the discovered dinosaur Jubileesaurus, in case it was a new species.
*
A few weeks later, when the three X-Men returned to base empty-handed, the bad news came. "Dear Jubilee, unfortunately we must inform you that, after repeated and careful analysis, experts have determined that the skeleton you found belongs to a common brontosaurus. Fondly Ivan." The girl burst into tears." It’s the saddest day of my life!" she exclaimed. Rogue, perplexed, reminded her that her parents had been eaten by a pack of lions before her eyes. "Oh yes, that was actually worse" she admitted.
Baxter, meanwhile, had made progress. He had managed to intercept new alien interference that boded very well.
"You won’t send us back to Siberia, I hope," Jean said.
"Oh no, it won’t help."
"You’re sure it’s Parallel-X," Xavier asked.
"I’m sure of it. I hacked a strange contraption and observed its operation for a few days. It contains a database full of names, especially superheroes and superheroines. And look here, in the file "Mission Accomplished": there are all the names of confirmed victims of Parallel-X".
"And it’s all in English? In our alphabet?"
"Of course, Rogue, without English you don’t go anywhere in the universe nowadays" Jean replied.
"Apparently it’s like a sophisticated die he chooses his victims with" Baxter continued.
"You mean he chooses random people, am I an idiot?"
"Apparently yes. If there is a logic I don’t understand it."
"Can you tamper with it? Can you alter the results?" Xavier asked.
"I think I do."
"You can put it back on one of us, then" Jubilee said, "that way we would have direct contact with Parallel-X, and could find his weaknesses and defeat it. Jean, are you buying?"
"Why would I let that bastard torture me?" she protested.
"No, we need Jean here. Her psychic powers combined with the Cerebro Machine will help us intercept Parallel-X and defeat him on the field" Xavier said. Jean breathed a sigh of relief.
"I offer myself!" said a gloomy voice. Wolverine, who had remained silent until then, joined the discussion.
"Logan, you broke your leg hunting for boars. I don’t think you can handle Parallel-X in this chin. Unfortunately, the solution is obvious. Jubilee is a little girl, Gambit is in rehab and Scott is following the world tour of Foo Fighter: only me left" Rogue noted.
"It seems crazy to me to feed that madman. His victims past described it as the far worse experience of their lives" Jean said.
"You understand that sooner or later we will all pass by? I prefer to be master of my destiny. And then I think I’m strong enough to take a little pain. Baxter enter my name."
The intern complied with it.
*
The plan worked, at least for the first part. Just two days later, Rogue, not really understanding how, was tied up and sitting on what looked like a torture device.
"That’s it," she thought, "looks like a very high-tech electric chair".
"Good morning Rogue, welcome to the little world I created for you" Paralell-X debuted, "for the set design I was inspired by the environments of the 90s series about you X-men. I hope you like it".
"Oh yes, very nice. I hope you also accept criticism, though. If I may say so, this chair is a bit uncomfortable. And then I’m cold on my feet... Why the hell are your victims always barefoot?!"
"I simply find human female feet to be graceful."
"Oh my God, there are also fetishistic aliens" Rogue said, between the disconsolate and the amused.
"Rogue, I like you very much, but I don’t like what you did to my dadex at all. Did you think I wouldn’t notice?"
"That’s what that weird digital die is called."
"It’s a very sophisticated device, it’s not a die."
"Well, it basically works like a die... Aaaaaaaarrgh!" Rogue was hit by the first electric shock. Obviously, Parallel-X had woken up with a bad moon and was a little touchy.
"Mmh I sense something: a foreign entity trying to connect to this world. They are your partners, aren’t they? You humans are resourceful!"
I don’t know what you’re talking about..." Rogue lied, still in pain.
"Uh, the gorgeous Jean Grey, that’s who it is. I could bring her here, but I haven’t prepared anything for her. I’d be rude."
"Or maybe you don’t have enough energy to do it?" Rogue pushed him.
"Perceptive. Yes, I admit it. Unfortunately, I can just cut her out. That’s it. Now you’re all alone; a plan a bit out of the blue, don’t you think?"
Rogue was getting nervous, the plan had actually gone to shit, and the previous taste of torture didn’t bode well at all.
"Look, do what you want to me, I don’t care, but..."
"But <tell me who you are, where you come from, what is your purpose, you are a Capricorn, right? > you wanted to ask me this, I guess."
"Well..." Rogue nodded embarrassedly.
"I’m recording a podcast with all the answers, it should be on Speaker by the end of the year, fingers crossed."
"We have nothing more to say to each other."
"I don’t, you... more than saying... scream."
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!”
Rogue stayed in bed for almost a week, between pain and moods. One Tuesday afternoon, Storm, whom we have forgotten throughout the story, sat down next to her friend on the bed.
"Let me ask you a question: what object did he use as portkey?"
"A one dollar bill"
"Well, a very common object..."
"On the ground, tied to a wire."
"What?!"
Who do you like to see as next Paralell-X's victim? Let me know in the comments!
Note: The materials displayed above are just fantasies. All the characters are the intellectual property of their owners and hereby used solely for the purpose of fan-based fiction and artistic expression. This blog is absolutely against all forms of violence and harassment.
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